Last night’s episode was a twisty-turny experience. First, I was like, “Whoa.” Then I was like, “Ahhh.” Then I went, “Wow!” And then I was all, “Damn!” Then, after the commercial break got over, I got bored rather quickly. OH SNAP!! NO HE DIDN’T!!!!11111
The episode began with Mookie, Alex, and Ed-tardo being super excited about having the immunity idol, while Kelly Kapowski was off practicing her basket tosses. They decide not to tell Kelly Kapowski just yet because they claim they worry about his ability to keep a secret. Whatever. I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure he can keep a secret. For example, I don’t think he’s even told them he’s a male cheerleading coach because if he had, that natural instinct to punch him in the face would have kicked in by now. What? Oh, you try it. Try being within punching distance of a male cheerleader and not punch him in the face. It’s just the way we’re wired. It’s science.
Tree mail arrived at both camps, instructing them to leave behind everything except their personal belongings and head to Super Duper Slithery Dithery Snake Island. All tribe members were unsure of what was happening next:
“This game is so full of twists, it could be anything, “said Ed-tardo.
“No one really knew what was going on,” declared Yao Ming.
“…” said Cassandra.
When both tribes arrived on Snakey Wakey Island, they were still left wondering what exactly to do. Without THEIR DARK LORD, the tribes wandered aimlessly, full of questions. Are they now one tribe? Would they be living here from now on? How is it that Mrs. Larusso had no problem with her son spending so much time with an old Japanese handyman? Seriously, he bought him a car. I would at least have been a bit wary.
Finally, they came upon a tower. Climbing to the top, they found ten new purple buffs and a message telling them they were merging and to head back to the Moto camp, which of course is good news because they have a couch. Things were going well for our tribe members. Or were they? Or they were? Were or they?
No. They weren’t. I’m not one for suspense.
As they rounded the corner, they saw that the camp had been cleared out, save for some fishing gear, a flint, and some pots. Seriously, how did they not expect this even a little? Did no one say, “hmmm, maybe they are messing with us?” I mean, come on. You do realize that THE ANGEL OF THE BOTTOMLESS PIT is the host, right? Dummies.
They also named the tribe Bula Bula. I’m sure they explained what it means, but I wasn’t paying much attention. Looking it up online, it says that “bula” is either a Fijian greeting where the name would be roughly translated to “Hello Hello” or it means “to vomit, throw-up. originated with the sound you make when you retch and expel the contents of your stomach, usually after the over consumption of alcohol.” Try and use that in a sentence today. I’ll start. Lisi’s BACK-FAT from last week totally made me want to bula all over my hardwood floors. Grammar are fun.
Surveying the current situation, BOO! says he is going to just be “a good little helper and then when it’s time, assume the leadership role again.” Um. Erm. Anyone else notice BOO! taking any leadership before? Unless he has been off amassing an army of fire ants to do his bidding, BOO! ain’t been doin’ any leaderin’. I don’t know. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe BOO! is a better player than I initially thought and we should expect great things…BOO! HA! Gotcha!
Also, Mookie, Alex, Ed-Tardo, and Kelly Kapowski have decided to call themselves the Four Horsemen as they are aligned with one another. I assume that’s because there are four of them. I personally would have went with the Four Sparkly Unicorns because its much more fabulous. I bet Kelly Kapowski would have been with me.
Kelly Kapowski and Mookie then made an attempt to win over Cassandra and Yao Ming. The conversation went something like this:
Mookie: “So we should all be in this together and vote out BOO! I think”
Cassandra: “Yeah, Boo.”
Yao Ming: “It’s good because I thought that you would have gone over to the dark side and forgotten about us”
Cassandra: “Yeah, forgotten.”
Mookie: “Then I think we should vote off Stacy”
Cassandra: “Yeah, Stacy.”
Kally Kapowski: “I know you wouldn’t think it now, but Slater was hot back then. It was a different, turbulent time. A wrestler who could dance ballet got all the chicks.”
Cassandra; “Yeah, chicks.”
…
…
…
Cassandra: “I am boring.”
When the Four Sparkly Unicorns next met, Mookie just out of the blue tells Kelly Kapowski about the immunity idol. They are then stuck explaining to Kelly Kapowski that the reason they didn’t tell him in the first place was due to them being worried about him keeping it a secret. “Hey,” Kelly said, “When Screech needed to keep his grandmother’s sauce recipe a secret, did I go blabbing about it? No, instead I fought to help him keep it a secret from that snob who was trying to get it from him. Incidentally, she was played by Soleil Moon Frye – TV’s Punky Brewster! GOOOOOO BAYSIDE!”
While fishing later on, Ed-tardo is none too happy to learn that Mookie let Kelly Kapowski in on their secret. “If Kelly Kapowski tells anyone, I am going to kill you Mookie, seriously.” Yes, seriously. Also, Alex then asked if Stacy could join their Unicorn club. This leaves Mookie even more uneasy than the thought of being killed, seriously. “"Alex and Ed-tardo want to bring Stacy in," worries Mookie, "So when it gets down to five as we planned, Stacy is on their side and me and Kelly Kapowski, we're left out of the loop." Plus, he may get killed, seriously.
So, Mookie Let Kelly Kapowski in on Alex’s plan to invite Stacy in and Kelly Kapowski is none too happy about it. They then make a “pack” as Kelly Kapowski so eloquently put it, to get rid of Stacy once BOO! is gone. Now, Mookie is left teaming up with a male cheerleader. Things are going poorly for ol’ Mookie.
As the tribe meets for the immunity challenge, BEELZEBUB has them all pick rocks out of a bag. Those with green rocks went over to the green mat. Those with orange rocks went to the orange mat. Although they are now one tribe, they will be competing as teams against one another for this challenge. Oooooooh. Probst, you so crazy. They also get steak and wine and abnormally large peppers. Seriously, these things were huge. They reminded me of the six-foot prune Dr. Bunsen Honeydew had made at the end of the Muppet Movie. Anyone else reminded of that? Well, you are all obviously not as cool and sexy as me.
The challenge was to first study the order of symbols on this mask thing and then paddle out and collect these puzzle pieces and then come back and put them together and then put them in the order they were in on the mask. I know. Super exciting. Also, is it me or are the majority of challenges focusing on RETRIEVE PIECES AND PUT TOGETHER A PUZZLE? Am I wrong here? Hey, I love watching people put puzzles together on TV as much as the next guy, if one can assume the “next guy” also needs to put out cigarettes on his arm to stay awake during these challenges. Honestly.
There’s not much you need to know here other than the team with Michelle, Kelly Kapowski, Alex, Mookie, and Stacy lost. Everyone else won. Stay with me here.
But wait…there’s more. In order to curb any last minute planning, THE FALLEN ANGEL informs the losing team they will be immediately going to tribal council from the challenge. I have to admit…I did like that little twist. But don’t get cocky, Survivor. I’d still find The Father Dowling Mysteries more captivating.
While the winning team enjoyed their meat and alcohol, the losing team was stuck up at tribal council as EL DIABLO made them each give reasons for voting out someone else. Alex used that time to let everyone know he was voting out Michelle. Mookie, though, saw it as an opportunity to vote our Stacy. Kelly Kapowski saw it as an opportunity to be stupid. In the end, Michelle and her incredible shrinking bikini ended up being voted out, with three votes as opposed to Stacy’s two.
Until next time
Out-puzzle, Out-puzzle, and Out-more puzzles
Wayne
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment