Last night began with the Lopevi tribe members complaining about John K’s laziness around the camp. Everyone, they claimed, was doing something. Twila was carrying firewood. Sarge was cooking the meals. Robocop was keeping them safe from the ED-209. But there was John K., being lazy. Again, we have seen this strategy fail time and again. I expected more from a mechanical bull operator. Meatloaf was all “Hey, look, it wasn’t easy for me to make albums and go on tour and still manage to take as many drugs as I could find and eat every Twinkie they had in the Shop N’ Save down the street, but I still did it. I’m a bat out of hell.” Robocop! BANG!
At Yasur, Levar Burton was informed, despite his desire to raise the literacy level in Vanuatu, that the women were going to stick together because no woman’s alliance had made it through to the end of Survivor. Levar hated this because they were chosing Skeletor over him. “All Skeletor wants is to rule Eternia. He will do whatever it takes. Even in the Christmas He-Man episode, when you think Skeletor may be nice, he’s not. Is anyone listening to me? Have you ever read the Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary...?” Sometimes, I don’t even get me, so don’t feel bad. Levar, meanwhile said that he would burn the camp down or something if he was voted off. No wonder PBS fired his ass.
The reward challenge had the tribe members filling coconuts with water and bringing them through a big obstacle course and filling these bottles with water, and…have you stopped caring? Me too. The funniest comment of the night came from my buddy Frank, who noticed while Robocop was making his way through the obstacle course, Probst said “Chad is on the last leg.” Chad is on the last leg….Awesome. Anyways…Yasur ended up winning even though Leann first forgot to bring the bottle back with her when she finished and she also tripped almost spilling all the water. Chad is on the last leg.
So, Yasur won coffee and croissants at a coffee shop and the chance to bring the coffee maker back to camp for coffee…said coffee four times there. At the coffee shop, they got to look at pictures of their family and received letters from home, which I love. Looking at the pictures was pretty boring, except for the fact that all of Scout’s pictures from when she was a little kid were etched in stone by a mini-pterodactyl (I spelled that right the first time…take that spellcheck!). Then they all read their letters from home. Scout again shined here, receiving a letter from her “partner,” and I don’t think she meant bridge partner…OH NO! DID I JUST GO THERE? I DID. Eliza read her letter out loud, presumably to intimidate the other tribe members:
Dear Skeletor,
How are you? What is ↑? N2MH. Today was the craziest day. While Trap-Jaw and I were trying to keep Snake Mountain safe from He-Man and that piece of crap Orko (since you decided it would be a good idea to take a little vacation for yourself…but I’m not bitter) SNNNARRRL! Umm, oh yeah, so up comes Stinkor, right, and he just took a bath. And I’m all “Stinkor. What the hell! Your one power is the power of stink and now you take a bath. Stinkor? More like ummm Geek-or.” Can you believe I said that? Anyways, Stinkor got all mad and went off in a huff. After He-Man left, I went in and talked to him. And he said he is tired of being the “smelly” villain. I bit off a piece of his arm. LOL. He’s feeling much better now. Anyways, I should run. TTYL.
Kisses,
Beast Man
P.S. Bring me back a T-shirt.
Yes, for anyone wondering, she read the arrow symbol out loud…back off!
Ami actually got a pretty sad letter about her brother. There wasn’t much funny about it, so I will move on.
Levar Burton ended up drinking way too much coffee and being all annoying. But he said he was pumped to go into the immunity challenge because he read in a book that coffee gives you energy. Butterfly in the sky! And back at Lopevi, hot Julie took a break from being naked to tell Twila that Sarge had aligned with her, to which Twila remarked, “I am a guy.” Anyways, that little trick made Twila not trust the guys and align with hot Julie.
The immunity challenge involved shooting a slingshot at tiles and breaking them. Anyways, Levar kicked ass and Yasur won. Lopevi was faced with the task of voting someone off. Even though John K. tried to win over Twila and Julie by promising to continue to do nothing, they were not convinced and John K. was voted off. He ended the show by saying he hoped Meatloaf would win because Paradise by the Dashboard Light was the song he first gelled his hair to.
Until next time,
Outnap, Out-more-Skeletor-jokes please, and Out THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!
Wayne
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