To start the show off, Meatloaf further proved his idiocy by saying to everyone how Sarge told him to vote for him because "everyone else was." Then he informed us that Sarge didn't really say that. He voted for him because he wanted to get on the good side of the women, by telling them that he did it only because Sarge told him to. Now, I am no mathematician, but that makes zero sense. Also, I had to deal with another issue -- with Meatloaf losing so much weight, I don't even know if I can call him that anymore. I was thinking maybe Turkey-loaf. These are my inner conflicts.
Then Scout wakes up early and whispers to Robocop and Turkey-loaf that she has a way for them to stay in the game. I don't know why, but the scene from Kingpin with Woody Harrelson and the old landlady flashed through my mind. Those of you who have seen it know what I am talking about. Those of you who haven't are the lucky ones. Anyways, Scout's big plan was to vote out Skeletor and keep the guys around a little longer. She said it had something to do with the fire, but I think it's because she knows the inevitable "Rule an Evil Empire" challenge is coming up and between Skeletor and Turkey-loaf on that one, I would think Skeletor would take it. She's got experience. And bug eyes.
The reward challenge involved the group breaking into smaller groups of four and tying one person up and moving them through a maze. Sounds stupid, right? Well, Skeletor and hot Julie were the ones tied up and the challenge involved a lot of chest and butt shots, which made it a good time had by all, except for my wife who had to endure "Hey, butt!"s and "Hey, boobs"s for a solid four minutes. Yes, I know ladies. I am quite a catch. Skeletor's tribe won and they got to go watch a whole gaggle of people sell out their culture to Mark Burnett. They went to some village and gave them their pig and then they got a pig in return and then they ate food and then they slept in huts. Yeah. Turkey-loaf peed on the plane on the way over and blamed it on the pig. Oh, and Robocop drank this kava drink thing that made him all messed up. Turkey loaf was saying "Hey, Robocop, you're wasted dawg." Robocop was all, "I am not wasted. I am a machine. Machines do not get wasted. Machines just...just....hahahahaha, dude I'm so wasted." Somewhere, the ed-209 is saying, "Note to self: Robocop can't hang." Robocop! WASTED!
Ami said her favorite part was the kids in the village because they are easy to manipulate. Unfortunately, even kids living in a primitive village know being a barista isn't cool. "Cluck, cluck, ooobooo ooobooo," said one of the children, which I plugged into my Babelfish translator (Vanuatuan to English) and it basically means, "Lady, don't think we are buying this model thing for a minute. Make me a half-caff latte beeyatch."
Meanwhile, back at camp, Scout was trying to convince everyone to vote Skeletor off. They were getting rained on too. And, well, that's about it.
Scout told Robocop and Turkey Loaf of her new plan to vote out Skeletor and Turkey Loaf gave us his thoughts on women, "You question a woman's character, you question a woman's ability, she'll snap your neck. You open up your heart, show a woman you're vulnerable, that's when they start thinking with their heart. That's when they open up that back door. That's what's happened this time." Oh, Turkey Loaf...you suck so bad.
The immunity challenge was an endurance challenge that had the tribe members (heh, member) holding onto poles (hehe, pole) and seeing how long they can stay up (hehe...umm, never mind). It came down to Robocop and Guy-La. I thought Robocop had it with his bionic leg. But Guy-la stole it with her bionic teeth. She was actually holding onto the rope with her teeth. I really don't know what to say about that, to tell the tooth. TO TELL THE TOOTH!!!! Holy crap.
So, Guy-la won immunity and Scout was still lobbying to get rid of Skeletor. Ami, however, made it clear that she was, in fact, a woman, and didn't need no man to help her with no fire, girl. Ami? More like A-pee. I really hate her. She's just so smug. Guy-la was very conflicted because she hates Skeletor, but she still thinks the whole sticking with the women strategy is the best. I think Guy-la may be Prince Adam in disguise. Look at the facts: (1) she hates Skeletor, (2) she is hiding a penis, and (3) have you ever really seen her and Prince Adam in the same room together. Guy-La has the power!!!
So, in the end, they voted off Robocop. At least we can all take solace in the fact that they are all going to Hell for voting for a cripple. Except for Turkey Loaf. He is going to hell for instilling murderous tendencies within my heart. You would think I would be sad, because I am losing all my Robocop jokes, but honestly, making them was getting tougher. I mean, how many ed-209 jokes can someone make?
Until next time
Outkava, Out-hate-ami, and Out-ROBCOP! BANG!
Wayne
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