Coming back from Tribal Council lastnight, Guy-la was a little perturbed about everyone bringing up the fact that she swore on her son and then went back on that swear when she voted Ami off last week. ""You just keep rubbing salt in the wound. The only one I want to worry about it with is my son when I go home. I'm tired of hearing about it, period! Now I swear on my son that I am not a guy! Dammit, I did it again!"
Hot Julie decided to try and use this little outburst and Guy-la's obvious anger at not being born with female genitalia to lobby Skeletor against Guy-la. "Look, if there is one person on here that I would call the 'He-Man' of the group, it would be her," Julie said. Skeletor, enraged by this, began to glow a bright green and barked, "Must eliminate Guy-la!" Skeletor, however, does take stock in her allegiances and said that she couldn't go against Turkey Loaf, because he still retains a bit of his flab power. So, she told hot Julie that she needed Turkey Loaf to be convinced before she could go along with the "Plan: Vote off the Shemale."
Hot Julie was waiting for the right time to approach Turkey Loaf when the reward challenge came up. It was sort of like a "best of" type challenge where the survivors had to first crawl through mud, then wrassle a pig, then do a puzzle, then go across the balance beam, and then shoot things with a slingshot. The only memories this brought back for me was when Scout's top came off and I vomited on the carpet. Ahhhh, memories light the corner of my BARRRRRFFFF!
Anyways, hot Julie won and of course decided to take Turkey Loaf with her to an overnight thing where they rode horseback up to a volcano, ate hot dogs, drank beer, and watched the volcano do its thing. When they first announced what they would win, I thought they said Pop Rocks, not hot dogs and I was all "Pop Rocks? That sucks." That story sounded a lot better in my head. So do the screams of the innocent. Huh? BANG! Julie also said she had the "funnest" with Turkey Loaf and she got just a little bit hotter in my eyes with that comment.
Of course, hot Julie was trying to get Turkey Loaf to sway her way and vote Guy-la off with her and Skeletor. Turkey Loaf, drunk on hot dogs, definitely started to consider it. Meanwhile, back at Camp Crap, Skeletor was trying to get some bananas that Guy-la buried to ripen and Guy-la wouldn't give them up. So, Skeletor said she would find bananas and bury them herself. And Scout just kept decaying.
When Turkey Loaf and hot Julie came back, everyone was asking Turkey Loaf if everything was still set. He assured Scout and Guy-la that everything was remaining the same. I can't believe no one sees that every time Turkey Loaf lies, his stomach grows. Watch for it. Skeletor pulled Turkey Loaf aside and they discussed things. Turkey Loaf said that they would wait and see what happened at the immunity challenge and figure things out then.
The immunity challenge had the Probst telling us a wonderful story about Roy Matta, a boxer from the 1940's who used to beat his wife and ended up with a hook for a hand. At least that's what I think he was saying. I wasn't really paying attention because I was still cleaning Scout-induced vomit off the carpet. Anyways, the survivors basically had to remember aspects of the story and go to these huts where they had to answer questions. Basically. Anyways, Skeletor won because if there is one thing evil overlords have is a love of stories. Remember that scene in Flash Gordon when he overcame Ming the Merciless by telling him the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears? No? You're stupid then.
So, before tribal council, Skeletor was talking to Turkey Loaf about strategy when Guy-la sidled up and heard basically all of their conversation. She's a real sidler. And she has a penis. Have I mentioned that? Turkey Loaf basically told everyone he was keeping them on the island. And his stomach grew. So, everyone thought that Turkey Loaf was keeping them on. But of course he wasn't. Or was he? Or wasn't he? Or he was? Wasn't or he?
At tribal council, the Probst asked Guy-la if there was anyone she thought shouldn't be there. "I swear on my son that I think everyone here is very deserving. Crap." I don't know why someone wouldn't say Scout though. I mean, what is she still doing there? I think they are holding on the hope that she's just going to die at some point.
So, Turkey Loaf ended up voting for hot Julie and now she is gone. And so is her butt. And the world is an emptier place. Sorry Julie's butt.
Until next time
Out-lie, Out-flip-flop, and Out-one more episode, thank God.
Wayne
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment