The show began with the Koror tribe, or as I like the call them, "That wicked stupid tribe" being sort of bummed about the fact that they lost all their supplies, they picked another camp, and there were rats hanging out at their camp. Not cute, likeable rats, like Rizzo from the Muppets or Steve Pearcy the lead singer of Ratt, but more yucky, gross rats like Templeton or Richard Hatch. It's a good thing they have someone named Willard on their tribe...because remember that movie about that guy who got the rats to kill for him. Michael Jackson even wrote a song about it...Ben, the two of us need look no more...No? Hey, did you hear Michael Jackson is in the news again...That guy's crazy!
Then it rained...and I think Coby was mad about his hair getting messed up or his Pokemon cards being ruined...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Dude, how is Janu a topless showgirl? Topless? More like her "top" is "less" than I would have expected. Topless (the "less" part of that was in italics, but the stupid web outlook interface doesn't allow such wonders of technology...get it topLESS...because she has less of a top)
When Ulong woke up the next morning, Marilyn Manson decided to "stay in the background" so as not to attract attention to herself. That's a little hard to do when you have "PAY ATTENTION TO ME" tattooed all over your body. Then she treated the entire tribe to a rousing rendition of "The Beautiful People" while she slaughtered a baby calf and inscribed "Sun bad, Piercings good" on her inner thigh. Oh, and she wore a tiny bikini bottom, which works out well, because vomiting helps me keep my figure.
The reward challenge was next and it was such an obvious rip on American Gladiators that I was expecting Turbo and Zap to jump in and begin to joust or use that cool tank that shot tennis balls. GLADIATE!!!
At the beginning of the challenge, it seemed like no one would be able to do it as Pokemon master and James the hick both fell in the water. In all actuality, it is actually not that difficult for intelligent people. While we are on the subject, doesn't James remind you of Ross Perot? Can I finish? CAN I FINISH? After those two dolts got off the course, though, Ulong jumped to a big lead (big thanks to Marilyn Manson) while Katie had trouble with the rope swing. Willard took a break from teaching his rats to gnaw on the Probst's shin to tell her to lift her legs. Seriously, I had planned on making rodent-based Willard jokes anyways, but now with the rats infesting the camp, its like this stuff just writes itself...RATBOY! So Ulong won and "the bad news bears", as Ian put it, lost. Bad News Bears? More like Suck News Sucks!! At the end of the challenge, Bobby Jon beat his chest for some reason. I think he was mad at it for naming him Bobby Jon. Little does he know it was his parents that picked that awful name and not his upper body.
The Suck News Sucks, meanwhile, tried to retrieve their booty from Davy Jones' Locker...ARRRGGGH MATEY! Ian, being a dolphin trainer, attempted to communicate with the undersea wildlife to fetch the heavy trunk. Unfortunately, the word for "fetch" is similar to the word for "urinate" and he ended up swimming in the warm spot. Ian made up for it though, by retrieving it himself with his stretchable arms. Remember Stretch Armstrong. He was fun, wasn't he?
Ulong made some clam soup from the giant clam that Jeff "boxer briefs" brought back from his fishing trip. Ashlee (Chesty LaRue) would not partake in the feast. Everyone was really upset by this until she revealed that "A GIANT CLAM KILLED MY MOTHER!!" Everyone felt bad after that and Jeff remarked, "I didn't know chicks with enormous breasts had feelings." Boobs McGee, meanwhile, appeared to be tiring.
Love was in the air on both tribes lastnight as Boxer Briefs and Kim (Ulong)- Whom Otherwise Would Be Seen As White Trash, But Compared To Marilyn Manson, Looks Pretty Good - cuddled close and Gregg and hot hot hot Jennifer cozied up over at the Suck News Sucks.
The tree mail brought some Morse code, which both tribes had to learn quickly, and they did. The immunity challenge was dominated by the Suck News Sucks because of Fire Marshall Bill. "Let me tell ya something about moving stuff underwater...its not easy kids..." anyways, he moved it and they figured out the Morse code for Immunity and they won immunity and so they were immune. Here's some Morse code for you: ".--. .-. --- -... ... - .. ... - .... . -.. . ...- .. .-.. ... ..- -.-. -.- ...!!!!!!"
Right...so...
Ulong had to go to tribal council again and it seemed that everyone would be voting off WOWBSAWTBCTMMLPG, but Boobs LaRue was also a consideration. Perot was all, "Boobs McGee's mother was killed by a giant clam...A GIANT CLAM...Can I finish? Anyways, A giant clam...Can I Finish? That don't make...Can I finish?...no...Can I finish...sense...I'm finished." WOWBSAWTBCTMMLPG, however, seemed to be poised to go. Boobs, in the end, however, received the majority and bounced off the island. She was unhappy she didn't cuddle up to Ibrehem. Who, you say....exactly...I am not really sure myself.
Until next time OutBoobs, OutMcGee, and OutBoobs McGee
Wayne
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